Sublime – 'Sublime'

Best paired with: a carne asada burrito


That's weird. All these songs about heroin really make me want to go to the beach...

For anyone growing up in Southern California, this album is a rite of passage — for better or for worse. Every perfectly good kickback was ruined by a lone bro trying to start a sing-along to his awful "Santeria" cover. (I'm looking you, Brandon. I don't care if it is your parents' guest house, no one wants to hear that.)

Even still, Sublime is SoCal culture condensed into 17 songs.

So get in your car. Take a trip to your nearest low-income neighborhood and find a taco truck. It doesn't matter where you parked, one's probably close by. Close your eyes and enjoy your behemoth-sized wrap. I think you'll find it pairs well with the smell of salt water and smog.

Radiohead – 'Kid A'

Best paired with: a cronut


At the turn of the millennium, Thom Yorke snorted too much ketamine off of a synthesizer and a bunch of hipsters lost their goddamn minds. That's why Kid A and the cronut are perfect for each other — they're both so overrated they can never live up to the hype of their internet fanboys.

For those out of the loop, a cronut is a trendy croissant/doughnut that the internet flipped its lid for in 2013. It wasn’t just basic girls on Instagram either; TIME Magazine named it one of the year’s best inventions. Absurd! That would be like Kid A winning the Grammy for "Best Alternative Album."

… Oh.

Listen, the best part of having a cronut is telling people you’ve had a cronut. So with Kid A, save yourself some time and just say you did.

cronut.jpg

The Beach Boys – 'Pet Sounds'

Best paired with: a five-course meal


A dinner with multiple courses is more of a creative expression than a meal. Each element is carefully chosen and purposefully integrated in order to tell a story through each dish. Layer after layer of texture and flavor are balanced by an auteur's vision.

Too complex to be held on one plate, Pet Sounds is a seat at the table of Chef Brain Wilson's Michelin-star restaurant.

The lyrics still hold up in 2017 and sonically — it's nothing short of genius. An early adopter of the Wall of Sound recording technique, Wilson's intense layering and crazy use of noise makes you say, "Jesus Christ, is that a model train horn?"

It is.

Off the album: Pet Sounds I know there's an answer.... just don't know the question :)

Taylor Swift – '1989'

Best paired with: three unsweetened rice cakes


1989 is what your ears eat when they're on a diet. It's Music Lite® — enough of a sensation to grab your attention but lacking in any actual substance. Completely devoid of social commentary or political statements, the songs are all about throwing cryptic shade at your former gal pals and shaking off your social media haterz.

This album is music's version of watching your figure.

See, pop records with this much money behind them are scientifically formulated to appeal to as many people as possible. To do that, you need to offend as few people as possible and to do THAT, you have bleach anything that could once be considered "flavor."

Like rice cakes, you can chew on 1989 all day long and not gain a thing.

Taylor's new release 1989 is Available Now featuring the hit single "Shake It Off" and her latest single "Blank Space". http://www.smarturl.it/TS1989 http://www.vevo.com/watch/USCJY1431460?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=ytd Music video by Taylor Swift performing Shake It Off. (C) 2014 Big Machine Records, LLC.

Mac Demarco – 'Salad Days'

Best paired with: a Cobb salad
 

With his lackadaisical style and pseudo-psychedelic guitar tone, Mac Demarco sounds like Tame Impala's unmotivated cousin. He's developed a cult following as the Slacker King with his strange-but-soothing brand of indie/lo-fi/soft rock. His break-out album, Salad Days, is his magnum opus and the musical equivalent of day-drinking in a kiddie pool instead of looking for a job.

Which pairs well with the Cobb because it's the "sure, fuck it" of salads. It's like whoever invented it just needed to clean out their fridge before moving apartments.

"Hey man, I'm about to chuck this hard-boiled egg. You want it?"
"Yeah, whatever. Just throw it in my salad."

The Cobb really brings out the go-with-the flow attitude that has made Mac Demarco a hipster hero.

1. Salad Days 0:01 2. Blue Boy 2:25 3. Brother 4:31 4. Let Her Go MISSING 5. Goodbye Weekend 8:02 6. Let My Baby Stay 11:02 7. Passing Out Pieces 15:10 8. Treat Her Better 17:57 9. Chamber of Reflection 21:27 10. Go Easy 25:18 11.